So...I lied...I haven't been any better at this. My sincerest apologies to both of you that follow me. :)

Anyway, I have recently been feeling overwhelmed. However, not in the way you might think. It isn't that I am fretting or concerned with all the responsibility I have, all that is on my plate, or even all that is required of me on a daily basis. I have full and complete trust in the God I serve to guide me through that...

...What has been overwhelming is God. I will never understand why...He cares for me. I thought about just writing about what God has done for me until my fingers fell off from typing, my head hit the desk from exhaustion, or I died of starvation. None of those are on my "Top 10" list (amputation, exhaustion, starvation)...so I'll bullet point a few things that blow my mind about God:
- Creator - getting a heavy dose of some creation videos that Cade loves - talk about an immense and transcendent God. Why create me?
- Love - "But God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners...Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) - Why love me? nuff said
- Patience - as a parent, you get a ton of practice in this category. I wish practice made perfect. God is so perfectly patient with me. Why be patient with me?
- Physical Provision - Jehovah Jireh - He gives the ability to make wealth and in America, we are incredibly wealthy. Why provide for me?
- Spiritual Provision - Jehovah Jireh - He gives us everything pertaining to life and godliness. Why provide a way of salvation for me? Why provide sanctification for me?
- Protection - shield of faith, belt of truth, sword of the Spirit. We are armed for battle in a spiritual warfare. Why equip and protect me?
-Compassion/Mercy - No reason to...but He shows it. Why?

So that's just a few. SOME questions about God are fairly clear. But any time you get into a discussion at church, in a small group, at home, or out and about and the questions comes up of..."Why would God..." or "Why did God...", you are entering a new stratosphere. Anyone can have a knowledge of what God does, or what He is capable of, or facts about Him. But those people are the same ones that truly ask these "Why" questions and are not only befuddled but extremely frustrated by the answer. Most of the time, the answer is quite simple: "Because that's who God is" or "Because that's what God does" or "Because that's what God wanted to do" which all end up at the core answer of: "Because that is what brings God the most glory".

That drives an unbeliever NUTS! The natural person cannot understand the things of God. Look people, the Psalms say that God sits in the heavens and does whatever He pleases. This life...this existence...is NOT about you or me. It's about God. It's about God getting glory. It's about God being on display. If you can't be satisfied with the answer to the "Why God?" question for your life, there is something wrong with YOU...not God. More than likely, it is because YOU are trying to be God...or you are trying to tell God what is supposed to happen or how things are supposed to be done. Rant over.

To sum it all up...I am overwhelmed in a good way because I cannot fathom WHY GOD does what He does. I know that the same God I described above...cares for me, loves me, provides for me, and brings me joy...joy incomprehensible. The best part is...I know I'm in a good place in being overwhelmed of these WHY GOD thoughts and questions...because I trust Him. I have full confidence that God knows exactly what He's doing. This may be a completely obvious conclusion...but it was one I needed to come to. When faced with this...you can respond in 1 of 2 ways...either trust or distrust. The way you respond to those situations in life, tell a lot about you...and about where your hope is fixed.

The ending wouldn't be fitting without leading into a song that has warmed my heart:

"Trust and obey...for there's no other way...to be happy in Jesus...but to trust and obey."

Until His glorious return...

I promise I am going to get better at this...

Well, not much has happened since my last post. HA!

-My wife went on bed rest in April

-My daughter was born prematurely in June

-My son turned 3 in July

-My daughter was released from the NICU in July

-My wife's birthday...our 6 year anniversary...

So...that's my story.

Anyway, back in action...hoping to make this a weekly occurrence, if not more, but I don't want to get ahead of myself. Low expectations and then be surprised. :)

What is it like to have a daughter? Well, as my wife can attest to, I was apprehensive about having a daughter. It wasn't the cost of a girl, the hair that will be clogging our drains, the makeup, the drama, or even the excessive amounts of pink and purple. It wasn't that I was scared of girls or anything like that...but scared of my girl who will one day possibly be out from under my care and in the arms of another. Yes, I am getting way ahead of myself...

Once Reese was born though...all those thoughts about how I would feel went away. I was no longer worried about her leaving me on a white stallion with her Prince Charming into the sunset. My cares turned to doing everything in my power possible to care for her physically, mentally, emotionally, and most of all spiritually. I am her dad and she is in my care, (as are Cade and Julie) and I want to flood her mind with as much of the gospel and our precious Christ as possible. Who cares about academics and sports and looks and accolades when a soul is at stake? This is a radical change for me since I have been saved, moreso since I've been married, and even moreso since having kids. Do I want my kids to do their very best and excel in what they do...absolutely. But what does it profit a man to gain the whole world yet forfeit his soul? That applies everyday.

So, growth is happening all over the place. Our family is growing in number, my son is growing in knowledge, my daughter is growing physically, and love is growing in our house. Julie and I are growing most of all, I think, in our trust of the Lord. As a parent, you feel very "in control" and responsible for all that goes on in your household. Continually though, we are reminded to let go. Not to "let go and let God" to it's extreme, but to let go of our pride and our Vulcan death grip we think we have on our life and our happiness and let God lead us in the everlasting way.

All in all, I want to live for Jesus...and have my family follow me all the way to the Celestial City. Lord, I need you...

...until His glorious return...

Wow...2 months gone by already?! Well, I have had this blog post on my mind for about a week now and was really relishing this thought the entire Passion week.

There is a new band on my radar that I found out about by listening to Pandora. Now...I can't get enough of them. The band is "Fee". The album I am listening to right now is "We Shine". The song I have been listening to the most that reminds me of the glories of Easter and the Kingdom to come is "Happy Day". A simple song about salvation...past, present, and future.

HAPPY DAY by Steve Fee

Verse 1:
The greatest day in history, Death is beaten, You have rescued me
Sing it out, Jesus is alive!

Empty cross and empty grave, Life eternal, You have won the day
Shout it out, Jesus is alive!
He's alive!

Refrain:
Oh happy day, happy day
You wash my sin away
Oh happy day, happy day
I'll never be the same
Oh no
Forever I am changed

Verse 2:
When I stand in that place, free at last, meeting face to face
I am Yours, Jesus you are mine

Endless joy and perfect peace. Earthly pain finally will cease
Celebrate, Jesus is alive!
Yeah, He's alive!

[REFRAIN]

Bridge:
And oh, what a glorious day!
What a glorious way! That you have saved me.
And oh, what a glorious day
What a glorious name, yeah

[REFRAIN]

I hope you are as blessed by this song as I have been. I'm telling you...if you don't have this album...you are missing out.

Until my Master returns...

The soft sound of rain hitting the roof...

The water heater making noise in the wind...

The fan in our son's room coming through the monitor...

The sound of my fingers tapping on the keyboard...

My wife breathing as she sleeps...

...thankful for it all.

It is easy to say thank you when you get something unexpectedly great. It just pours out of you in exclamation, "Thank you!" It is important to say thank you, especially for gifts and kind gestures. I truly am thankful though for all the pleasantries listed above. The unnoticed...unappreciated...un-thanked.

But why...what is so special? God allows me to hear sound. God brings rain. God provided the job with a gracious boss which provided the money for the roof over my head right now, and the water heater, fan, monitor, laptop. God causes the wind to blow. God causes friction. God made our son and formed his inward parts. God allows my fingers to move, my brain to work, and my eyes to stay open. God provides breath. God provides sleep. God gave me my wife.

With so much more that could be mentioned and implied from those few lines, most of all, God gave me the grace to realize that it's Him, not me.

I rely on my hearing. I rely on the rain. I rely on the job with the gracious boss and the money to pay for those luxuries. I rely on friction (wrap your brain around that concept). I rely on DNA strands working together, molecules forming, the human body working as it is supposed to, in order to create human life. I rely on the tools needed and the doctors used that worked together to allow my son to live. I rely on breath. I rely on sleep. I rely on my wife.

With all that said, most of all, I rely on the grace of God and come to grips with the fact, that I am nothing but a humble slave of Christ, not myself.

So praise God for the mundane, the granted, the ordinary...along with the extraordinary, because it is the same God and the same grace that provides the ordinary as well as the extraordinary. I resolve not to miss seeing the grace of God in my life daily...and I resolve to be thankful for it, knowing where and who it comes from.

Until Jesus returns in glory...

The holiness of God. An amazing subject, and one that is often neglected from the pulpit and from worship leaders. Why? Is God's holiness not talked about in Scripture? Is it covered in metaphorical language that is difficult to understand?

Leviticus 11:44 and 1 Peter 1:16 are fairly clear: "You shall be holy, for I am holy."

So what is it then? Why, as Christians, is the thought of God's holiness being abandoned? The reason I believe that it is being forgotten and brushed aside is because that holiness of God, requires something from us...if we claim Christ. Just as the verse said, "You shall be holy, for I am holy," God requires holiness from His creatures. It is not optional. We MUST be holy because our God is holy. And we MUST proclaim the holiness of God as one of His many attributes because of two reasons:

1) God must receive glory from us for being holy. We cannot fully praise God without recognizing His holiness. We would not be proclaiming the whole counsel of God by ignoring that important fact.

2) To encourage, exhort, and admonish people to know how high the calling is to be a follower of Christ. We must count the cost and be willing to lay everything bare at the foot of the cross.

Understanding the thought of God and His holiness will bring you to your knees. Not SHOULD bring you, but WILL bring you. The fact will always be that we fall short of God and His holy standard. It isn't enough to be better than the rest, or as most of us live, be better than some of the rest. The thought of God being holy will allow us to recognize our own sin in our life and hopefully, prod us to rid our lives of that sin and praise God for how great and mighty He is.

Humility and brokenness over my sin is all I can think of when pondering the holiness of God. And to think, that same God crushed His Son for me?! This just makes the words in 1 Corinthians 6:20 that much more powerful to me..."You have been bought with a price, you are not your own, therefore, glorify God in your body." Sometimes we try and close the gap in our minds between us and God thinking that we aren't as far apart as we are...but we kid ourselves. His holiness and our wretchedness are infinitely and eternally opposed...which makes the cross that much more lovely.

And Oh...the glory of the cross...

It's a new year, new decade, new blog post...blah blah blah. So HOW is 2010 different so far for me? Well...I've spent more time watching Blue's Clues and Yo Gabba Gabba then I have watching football. Oh, and I just got finished watching Confessions of a Shopaholic with my wife. I feel my manhood slipping right through my fingers. Maybe I should go get some beef jerky...

There, that's better.

Ok, so today was a new day for Veritas (Calvary Bible Church College Ministry)...at least for the music ministry...we added drums a la Calderon. Sounds special huh? They are. It was our first Sunday playing with drums and it was such a great kickoff to a new year. The song set seemed to tie in perfectly with what Pastor Jack Hughes was preaching on in "Big Church". Pastor Jack is beginning a 3 month series on faith from Hebrews 11. Today was the first message and it blew my mind. The line that stuck in my head was "It is smart and wise to trust in a faith that cannot fail because it comes from the God who cannot fail." The songs we highlighted this morning (below) are all about the great and awesome nature of our great God and how He is worthy to be praised. What a joy and pleasure it is to sing to and for him.

Lord I Lift Your Name On High

Lord Most High (Be Magnified)

Our Great God

How Great Is Our God

All these songs place God on a pedestal where he belongs...magnified, lifted up, glorified...placing us in our rightful place...humbled, prostrate, and broken.

I am so thankful to serve with a group of people in Veritas and the band (Corio 2 shout out). It is a joy to sing...of course...but it is a joy to serve with people who love Jesus...and that's why we're here. So, to Greg, Angel, Steve and Tony...Danny, Ryan and Charlie...and of course, my gracious wife...thank you for serving and loving Jesus.

In 2010...love Jesus while expecting Jesus. He's coming back. Heaven awaits.